Posted on

Chapter 6: Memories… Part 2

…mother?!…

….but this time it was, somewhat…

…different.

It’s a whole new wide universe where everyone is happy… …but i’m happy…  …i think i am…

…millions of the same species as yours…     ….swimming and playing….           …it’s as if the whole eternity is within their grasp…     …worries…        ….they do not have them….        ….smiling faces…            …you see them everywhere….           …..everything you can see is blue…  …but their faces aren’t….         …they’re yellow…    …….yes……     …..yellow, happiness fill their faces….               …..one thing that never landed on any part of your face while inside the crowded can….

….what is happiness?….

…isn’t it happiness when everyone’s smiling?….           …maybe…           ….everyone inside the can with you smile when you smile at them….         ….but something is really weird about it…..    …you don’t know….           ….it seems that they’re smiling….            …but….          …their eyes tell something different…..          ….freaky…..     …it’s like they’re smiling just because….          …you smiled at them….        …is that what they really want?….             …do they really want to smile?….    …or are they really capable of smiling whole-heartedly?…..     …mysteries fill your mind once again…..           ….but wait….    ….what about that dream?…            …was it for real?…

..it seemed so……           …but how can it be so…..      …but the place looks and feels familiar….       ….and mother….      ….a real….          …mother….   …wait….          ….father is also there….      …….then………….

gasp…       ….you saw a thin rope emerging beneath the sea bed….     …it’s a net….       …a net?…      ….it’s directly below you….           ….you fell for the trap…..              …. it’s approaching you from below…..     …everyone you see…..          …is in total panic….          ….petrified by the scene….            ….you stood there motionless…..           ….eyes widely opened…..    ….heart pounding very quickly….   ….then…..

….someone pushed you away from the net….             …it was….              ….father……     …yes, it was father…..           …..he said something as he was being taken away by the net…..

“please, take care of yourself and your mother for me….”

“i love you both…..”

….mother rushed towards you….     …embracing you….     …while weeping…..     ….with her eyes without tears…..          ….she held you much more tighter….          …..it’s as if her heart is being crushed….          …very, very slowly….          ….for she cannot bear to watch your father being taken away to the surface….           ….away from the sea…..            ….away from her side…..

….you hugged her back….        ….for you understand the pain that she suffers….        ….because her flesh and your flesh….            ….was once….           …one….

…..minutes passed…..

….you still hold her….        …she still holds you…..        …she’s still crying…..        …she’s still sad….     ….and agonized……        ….everything seemed very slow….        ….every moment……            ….you seemed to feel….           …..loneliness……       ….for the very first time……             …..you saw your parents…….            …..apart…..             ….then….           …something……            ….is falling…..           ….from the surface…..            ….you can’t see it clearly…..           ….it seemed blurred…….               ….then it landed on the sea bed……            …..you swam closer….  …and closer…..           …..curiousity controls you…..         …..when suddenly…..         ….your mother rushed towards you…..            …..held you tightly……        ….covered your eyes…..      ….as she faced back at the foreign object that stimulated your senses…..

….you start to wonder…..          ….why?….                ….it seems that she’s dragging you away from that…..        ….thing…..                 ….then she whispered…..

“your father and i really love you….”

“please don’t look anymore…”

“….i want you to *gasp* trust me….”

“please…….”

“….never forget us…..”

“….we’ll be watching you from now on…..”

BOOOM!!!!

….suddenly, everything went dark, as well as bright…..         ….you can’t remember very much, but you seem blinded by the events happening…..           ….the only thing that you remember is….       ….the feeling….             ….as your mother holds you very tight…..               ….it seems her affection for you is overflowing….         …..she seems….          ….smiling….     …(?)….   ….you asked yourself…..          ….why?….            ….even though the worst is happening…..

…..and now, you can’t even remember the next thing that happens…..       ….then you woke up inside the can….           …empty-minded…..             ….you have no memory of anything…..        ….so you kept on smiling…….                    …..ever since……

“please…….”

“….never forget us…..”

“….we’ll be watching you from now on…..”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

cencia na senyo… medyo malungkot ang blog ko ngayon, pero kahit ganun, masaya pa rin ako dahil katabi ko ngayon ang aking one and only (one and only nga ba naman?) !!! medyo ordinaryo lang ang mga nangyari sa akin simula ng last akong magpost dito.  kaya medyo ala akong masasabi ngayon. ewan natin, malay nyo?  pero mahaba na ang naisulat ko, hehe…  ei, kung may comment naman kau dito sa blog ko, i-post nyo naman, kahit na lait-laitin nyo ok lang.  ayos lang yon.  humanda nga lang kayo, dahil lalaiitin ko din ang blogs nyo!!!! bwahahaha!!!!   eniwei, ala na talaga akong mapiga sa utak ko, naibuhos ko na dun sa sardinas na sinulat ko jan s taas. next time na lang ulit.

( >___< ) wahehe….. tandaan nyo na lang na, ayos lang mag-marijuana, wag lang sasabayan ng alak!!!! cia nga pala hindi ako adik, hanggang inom lang, alang marijuana, medyo asa katinuan pa naman ako noh?!

Translation
i’m sorry to everyone…by blog is a bit sad, but even so, i’m still happy since i’m sitting next with my one and only (is it really one and only?)!!! things were a little ordinary these days since i last posted. that’s why i have nothing else to say. i don’t know. but what i’ve written is already long, hehe… ei, if you have any comments regarding my blog, just post it, even if you pick on it, it’s ok. it’s fine. just prepare yourselves, because i’ll procrastinate your blogs in return!!! bwahahaha!!!! anyway, there’s really nothing i can come up with, i emptied it all up on the sardines that i’ve written above. ’til next time.
(>____<) wahehe… just remember this, it’s ok to smoke marijuana, as long as don’t couple it with liquor!!!! FYI, i’m no addict, i just drink, no marijuana, so i’m still sane, right?!
Posted on

Chapter 5: Memories…

…sure, time moves forward… it’s inevitable…      …you know that it is hopeless to struggle…                          …the end is just around the bend…       …only a few more….                  …just a few more….             …then everything you know…………..                 …everything  you’ve ever felt….            …everything that you said….                       …and everything that you have been…

….will be gone…

…you can still remember the moments inside the can…      …you felt so warm…           …just being beside your loved ones……           ….just staying close with them….               ….wrapping you with their unconditional love…..

…they were your family….

….

….

….

…at least that’s what you know….

….then suddenly, in less than a blink of an eye…..    ….you stopped…..    …thinking of death….           ….you remembered something….

…a world…..              …different from the world…..               ….inside….    ….and outside…..   …the can…..       …puzzled…          …you start wondering on how was it possible….   …to be in a different world….

…mystery holds your head….          …it could be a dream…              …yes….          ….maybe it really was a dream…        ….it was paradise…..           ….yeah, paradise…..               …..everything was not red like the tomato sauce…..            …it was….                ……blue…..         …..and the place was quite large…..         …really large…..             ….i could not see the end of that place…..           …my eyes cannot reach its end…    …it was an infinite space i was in….               …and there was more like me…..        ….not just four………              ….hundreds……             …..no, maybe….         …millions….         …of us playing and swimming…..         ….is heaven colored blue?….        …..everything is so serene…..            ……yeah…..         …..i felt something……          ….that i haven’t…     …felt before…

….freedom….

…what a wonderful dream that was…..       ….???…..           ….i….      ….have  a….         ….mother?!…. …is that really….         ….mother?….        ….how can that be?….       ….i have my mother inside the can….         ….with me….        …but….      ….she never calls me as her child…..

….to be continued….

Next time: The memories linger, memories that were forgotten, dreams, as they seem to be. The continuation of memories next time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

dalawang linggo na ang nakakalipas simula ng huli akong nagpost dito. ang tamad ko talaga. don’t get me wrong, tamad lang ako, hindi batugan. alam nyo ba kung bakit ganito ang post ko ngayon? siyempre hindi! kasi naaliw lang ako kanina sa mga horoscope na nabasa ko kanina. lahat sila, ang sabi, magtitripings daw ako ngayon sa memory lane. siyempre, uto-uto naman ako, tinotoo ko. pero medyo tama sila, actually, kahapon, halos ganun din ang horoscope ko, pero ibang term ang ginamit, “nostalic,” yan yung word na ginamit. di ba parang synonymous din yan?! at bago ko pa mabasa yun, medyo nagsesenti na ko, dahil naaalala ko ang mga bagay dati, kung saan, pwede kong gawin ang mga bagay na gusto ko, pero walang apektadong ibang tao. kung saan malaya kong gawin ang mga bagay. malayang lumilipad ang aking isip at kamalayan. nakakamiss, pero, eto na ang totoong buhay. maraming bawal, maraming sagabal. ganyan siguro habang tumatanda ka. o kaya naman, eto ang mga kabayaran ng kalayaang natamasa ko dati. pero kahit anong mangyari, kailangan ko pa rin itong harapin. malay mo, pag napasobra ang hirap ko ngayon, baka ang maging kabayaran ay ang kalayaan ko muli…

siyanga pala, eto ang dahilan kung bakit nagsesenti ako, etong kantang to:

Kanlungan (by Buklod)

words ang music by: Noel Cabangon and Rom Dongeto

pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

natatandaan mo pa ba,
nang tayong dalwa’y ang unang nagkita?
panahon ng kamusmusan
sa piling ng mga bulaklak at halaman
doon tayong nagsimulang
mangarap at tumula

natatandaan mo pa ba,
inukit kong puso sa punong mangga
at ang inalay kong gumamela
magkahawak-kamay sa dalampasigan
malayang tulad ng mga ibon
ang gunita ng ating kahapon

ang mga puno’t halaman
ay kabiyak ng ating gunita
sa paglipas ng panahon bakit kailangan ding lumisan?

pana-panahon ang pagkakatao
maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

ngayon ikaw ay nagbalik
at tulad ko rin ang iyong pananabik
makita ang dating kanlungan
tahanan ng ating tula at pangarap
ngayon ay naglaho na
saan hahanapin pa?

lumilipas ang panahon
kabiyak ng ating gunita
ang mga puno’t halaman
bakit kailangan lumisan?

pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
maibabalik ba ang kahapon?
lumilipas ang panahon
kabiyak ng ating gunita
ang mga puno’t halaman
bakit kailangan lumisan?

pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

Translation
two weeks have past since i last posted. i’m really lazy. don’t get me wrong, i’m just lazy but i’m not a sloth. do you know why my post is like this today? of course you don’t! because i was amused by the horoscopes that i read earlier. all of them said, that i will be travelling down the memory lane today. and since i’m gullible, i made it happen. but i think they’re partially right, yesterday, my horoscope is almost similar, but with a different term used, “nostalgic”. isn’t it synonymous?! and before i even read it, i was already senti, because i remember things before, when i can do the things that i want, but don’t affect other people. where i have the freedom to do the things i want. my mind and my consciousness can freely soar. i miss it, but this is the real life. too many prohibitions, too many in the way. i think it’s the way to go when you’re getting older. or maybe this is the price i have to pay for the freedom that i enjoyed before. but whatever happens, i need to face it. we don’t know, but maybe if i experience too much hardships today, i might be rewarded with my freedom again…
anyway, this song is the root of all my melancholy today:
Haven (by Buklod)
Chances only come by chance
Can yesterday be brought back?
Do you still remember,
When the two of us first met?
Moments of innocence
Together with the flowers and plants
It was then that we started
To dream and to make poems
Do you still remember,
The heart that I etched on the mango tree?
And the hibiscus that I offered you
Holding hands by the seashore
Free as a bird
The memories of our yesterday.
The trees and the plants
Are linked with our memories
As the season passes, why do they have to leave?
Chances only come by chance
Can yesterday be brought back?
Now that you have returned
Your yearning is the same as me
To see our old haven
Home of our poems and dreams
Now they’ve disappeared
Wherever can we find it?
Time passes
Linked with our memories
The trees and the plants
Why do they have to leave?
Chances only come by chance
Can yesterday be brought back?
Time passes
Linked with our memories
The trees and the plants
Why do they have to leave?
Chances only come by chance
Can yesterday be brought back?