…slowly but surely, you are now sure of everything….
…death is just hanging just around the corner…. ….your time is slipping away quite fast… …very fast, and you didn’t even have time to notice it earlier….
…as the moment comes near, everything you did, everything that happened, everything that passed by, you seemed to regret it… all of them… …you don’t know why you should regret it…. …you really don’t know, but still you want to…. ….maybe, just maybe, it is for you to satisfy your anxious self… ….you want to feel comforted…. …especially at this particular moment of your life…. ….till death.
…you want to exclaim at the top of your lungs, “Why did this ever happen to me?!”
“How can these things be happening right now?!”
“Why now?!!”
“Has God forsaken me?…”
“…Or has God hated me, from the bottom of His heart?”
…confusion reigns over your head… …so much confusion, you can’t even figure out that you’re confused… …you can’t help it, you have to blame someone for your tragedy… …it’s your nature… …you’re such a pity… …blaming someone else for your own fault… …blaming them, just to feel good about yourself, to erase the guilt that covers your heart…
…now, your mind is covered with clouds… …so clouded, you can’t even see the truth behind anything…. …just thinking, saying and doing anything that pleases you……
… so if you ever find someone like this, can you forgive them, or just even understand them? …me, I really don’t know… …just don’t be petty…
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wai, wai, wai!!! tagal ko na namang hindi nagpopost sa blog ko. sarap sanang magsulat araw araw kaya lang tinatamad ako. saka kulang din sa time. hehe, sa computer lab na lang namin ako nag-iinternet, wag lang papahuli sa instructor, hehe. mabilis na, libre pa. NO MONTHLY FEES. PLDT at DIGITEL DSL pah, wahehehe.
anyway, ba’t nga ba may mga taong walang magawa kundi ibaling sa iba ang kasalanan at pagkukulang nila. hmm… hindi ko alam, kahit na paminsan-minsan, unconciously, nagagawa ko. pero ang sarap ng feeling di ba kung guilt-free ka di bah? yung hindi mo kailangang panagutan ang mga kalokohang ginawa mo. parang ipinasa-load mo sa iba yung karma mo sa buhay. pero, naipasa mo nga ba? hindi kaya bumalik sa yo ng mas grabe, dinelay mo lang ang dating…. maaari.
mahirap mang tanggapin pero, sa palagay ko, ginagawa natin ito lahat. nagkakaiba-iba lang tayo kung gaano kadalas natin to ginagawa. pero kailan kaya natin mari-realize ‘to. lalo na yung mga mas matanda ng ilang generation sa atin. ang hirap pangaralan, di ka nila nirerespeto. siguro dahil feeling nila mas marami na silang beses nag-level-up sa buhay. kahit na sa totoo, mas mabilis mag-level-up ngayon ang younger generation, at medyo stranded na ang mga old ones sa level nila. siguro dahil feeling nila sila na ang pinakamatibay at pinakamalakas sa lahat, dahil sa tagal na nila sa mundo, pakiramdam siguro nila sobrang dami na nilang pinagdaanan sa buhay. hindi sila yuyuko kahit kanino na feeling nila na mas mahina ang experience sa kanila. tama ba? hindi ko naman nilalahat, mayroon pa namang ibang marunong sumabay sa hangin ng panahon.
eniwei, on the lighter side naman, dahil ngayon lang ulit ako nagsulat dito, ngayon ko lang masasabi to. even though naipalabas na to sa tv, especially sa GMA. “wah, binaboy ni jimmy bondoc ang napakagandang kanta ni Shin Seung Hun na , I Believe!” yun yung theme song sa movie ng My Sassy Girl! medyo nakakaoffend lang ng konti, kasi hindi pa niya pinaalam dun sa record company. (eniwei, quits lang naman. natatandaan nyo ba yung isang particular na koreanovela na tinranslate din yung isang kanta ni Ogie Alcasid at ginawang theme song nito na hindi rin pinaalam. well kayo nang bahalang humula kung anong title nito.)
and speaking of My Sassy Girl, may tagalog version na ito, malapit nang ipalabas dito sa Pilipinas kong minumutya. pero sana naman maganda yung pagkakatranslate at yung boses.
hanggang dito na lang, mahaba na e. sa susunod na lang pag sinipag ulit ako. eniwei, asa baba yung original lyrics at english translation ng “I Believe” namnamin nyo:
I Believe (Shin Seung Hun)
“I BELIEVE guden gyothe ojiman idero ibyorun anigejyo
I BELIEVE naege onun girun jogum molli doraor punigejyo
modu jinagan gu giogsogeso nega narur aphuge hamyo nunmurur mandurjyo
na mankhum urji anhgirur gudemanun nunmur obshi nar phyonhage bonejugirur
onjenga dashi doraor guderanun gor argie nan midgo igie gidarirkeyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo
I BELIEVE nega aphaharkabwa gudenun urjido mothegejyo
I BELIEVE hurunun ne nunmuri gudr dashi nege dollyojugejyo
jaku momchunun ne nungir sogeso gude mosubduri tolla nunmurur mandurjyo
na mankhum urji anhgirur gudemanun nunmur obshi nar phyonhage bonejugirur
onjenga dashi doraor guderanun gor argie nan midgo igie gidarirkeyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo
Na gude argi jon isesangdo irohge nunbushyonunji
gu hanur areso ijen nunmullo namgyojyojiman ijarir nan jikhirgeyo
Guderan iyumanuro naegenun gidarimjocha chungbunhi hengboghagejyo
saranghan iyumanuro to haruga jinaga go onun gir ijodo gidarirkeyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo”
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ciempre may translation:
I Believe (Shin Seung Hun)
“I believe… When you are not with me there are no stars in the sky.
I believe… The way back to you will feel a little far.
I’ll carry all those memories deep inside me.
I’ll feel pain, it’ll make tears fall.
When I won’t cry you will leave me
With no change and no tears.
Someday again the tears will come around
You know it
I’ll believe that you are waiting.
I do it for you.
I believe… It’ll hurt me to see, you can’t cry.
I believe… My tears will fall, you should turn back to me again.
Again I’ll glimpse you come into my sight
And it’ll make my tears fall.
When I won’t cry you will leave me
With no change and no tears.
Someday again the tears will come around
You know it
I’ll believe that you are waiting.
I do it for you.
Before I knew you, the world was dazzling.
From that sky I got left with tears.
I will care for that person.
You are the only reason…
To me the wait gives me enough happiness.
Love is the only reason…
As days pass by,
If you forget the way, I’ll be waiting
I do it for you.
I do it for you.”