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Chapter 17: Another Chance

….as time drifts by….               ….it got you thinking….            …and it's really hard….               ….to replace….             …the memories….               ….together…              ….happy….             …and…..             ….sad…                …..bittersweet………           …..with tears….         ….of sorrow…..         …..and joy…..           ……with pain…..             …..of wounds she healed….           ….and pain…….                  …..of wounds she caused…

……unforgettable……..                  …..unforgivable….              ……yet…                      …..you chose to bear them once more……                      ……the pain……                    …..the tears…………..                     ……the joy………

………..yet………        …..you still chose to………                ……forgive……                     …..and try to forget……….                  ……..for you know that……….                 ……someday, it will happen……..             ….once more….                  …..but still try…..              ….to bear with them…..              ….over and over again……

….for you….               ….memories are precious…..               ….you never want……..           ….to waste….           ….everything the two of you………               ….have been through…..                 ….you don't want……….                        …..to end this…..                …….just like that…..               …..just because of that……..

…but the question is….                 ….WHY?….

…..it may seem unfair….                …..for you….           ….a promise….                  …..you made before….           ….that you will…              ….always be there….               …..by her side….             ….a promise….              …..that you will….            ….heal her wounded heart…..         …..and protect her….        …..from getting wounded again…..            …..the stars….             ….the moon…..                …..under the pale dark blue sky….                ….were all witnesses….          …..when you swore…..              ….unto the heavens….               ….that you would do such things……               ….anything…..              ….just to stop her tears……..               ….from flowing down her cheeks…..             ….just to mend her tormented heart……..             ……ease her pain……                 ….relieve her from her sufferings…..              ….just to let her know…..             …..she's not alone…..                …that you will always be…..          ….by her side….         ….to give her a shoulder to lean on…….               …..to give her a new light on life…..                    ….that it is not always full…..             ….of sufferings…..             …that suffering is what we make ourselves……             …..that we fall victims to our own actions….                 ….and not to blame others….                ….just to give justice….              ….to ourselves…..               ….that everybody must learn….  ….that the victim….            ….can also be the accused….

…..that was the first time………               …..in your life….           ….that you felt responsible…..                  …..first time………                    …..that you would go….              ….to the ends of the earth……                ….just to protect someone…..              …….first time…….                 …..that you made a serious promise……                  ……that even your will……….                ….could never break……

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waw, chapter 17.. actually special 'tong post na 'to. kasi special para sa akin ang number na 17. sinimulan kong i-type ang post na 'to ng april 17, 2007 at 10:10 PM, kaya lang antok na antok na ako noon, kaya ni-save ko na lang as draft..kaya lang, masyado akong nalibang sa buhay ko kaya ngayon ko lang ulit inedit (june 24). :P

at dahil buong summer din ako hindi nagpost sa blog, eto ang mga nangyari sa loob ng halos 2 months…

eniweiz, tapos na ang bakasyon, balik na sa school works, namely OJT. as of now, wala pa akong company na pag-oOJT-han. pero ok lang yun, kasi at least i spent some time with my loved one. yun nga lang, nasayang ang 2 linggo sa buhay naming dalawa.. at si bulutong ang dahilan, kaya ang flawless kong skin ay puro peklat.. namarkahan nga ang mukha ko e, nagkaroon ng uka dahil sa remnants ng bulutong. tanda ko pa nga noon, mukha akong chocolate chip cookie, dahil tinadtad ako sa buong katawan at mukha. at dahil dito, hindi man lang ako nakatikim ng swimming sa pool o kahit man lang sa dagat na may lumulutang na jebs.. huhu, kung kelan nasa mood ako magswimming…

tapos sa wakas, nakapagdefend na rin kami ng thesis namin, sobrang postponed talaga, may 20 yata kami nag-pre-oral defense, hindi ko sure yung date. ok naman ung defense. kung ang ibang kaklase namin ay todo gisa, feeling ko, kami ay half-cooked lang. nagdefend kami ng hindi natutulog, kasi ba naman sunday yung defense, tapos saturday lang dumating yung mga galing sa OJT.. tapos, magrerevise pa kami ng walang consultation. haha, deprived kami ng privilege na ma-consult yung thesis before the defense. at yun yung second time na isinuot ko ang pink polo uniform namin na pinatahi pa para lang sa thesis. hindi ko alam kung bakit OJT uniform ang tawag dun, e hindi naman yun gagamitin sa OJT.

tapos last june 10, tumugtog kami sa debut ng drummer ng band namin named nepOdekS. haha, almost three sundays and one saturday din kami nagpractice para lang sa event na yun!! dami naming naisip na tugtugin, too bad 3 lang yung lineup ng songs. too bad? or maybe too good? hehe.. absent si kuya v, tsaka yung bassist na hindi ko pa nasisilayan ang mukha, si van (tama ba spelling?). basta ang sure na na tutugtugin namin ay 2 original songs. ang first na pinractice namin ay "what is it to burn?" ng finch. kaya lang nareject kasi masyado daw pasigaw. tapos, "i could not ask for more" by edwin mccain, kaya lang, hindi na namin napractice kasi walang time. tapos nakapagcompose pa kami ng song, ang title ay "saging na saba", ang pangtapat namin sa song na "bangkang papel" ng digital karma. but in the end, "alone" by heart ang tinugtog namin.. sobrang daming time and money ang ginugol namin para lang sa practice na 'to. tapos, nung mismong event na,… guess what? nagkalat kami ng pinakagrabe.. kung siguro sisisihin ako, papayag ako, kasi sa gitara ko unang nagsimula ang lahat. pinilit kasi nila akong gumamit ng capo sa song, para daw maitaas ng half-step yung tone ng kanta. kaya lang gago talaga yung capo ko, right in the middle of the song, biglang lumuwag..we missed the whole second verse. and what's worst, rinig pa ata ng audience na sinisigaw namin sa vocalist na ituloy yung kanta kahit na natanga siya sa mga nangyari. but in fairness, nakumpleto ko yung guitar solo na walang masyadong errors. tapos nung pinerform na namin yung last song, napatid pa yung string ng isa naming gitarista..malas talaga. nasintunado pa ata ako nung nag-backup vocal ako, hehe di ko marinig boses ko noon e..overall, wala na kaming mukhang ihaharap sa public. yung emcee na gusto kami dating kunin para tumugtog sa isa pang event, ay hindi na nagpakita sa amin mula noon, hay…

tapos, nagkaroon ako ng sub-religion, isa na rin akong Haruhi-ist.. haha, naadik din ako sa "The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi" (Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu). at siyempre, kung isa akong Haruhi-ist, dapat alam ko ang dance step ng "Hare Hare Yukai"!!! I got hooked on the anime and the novels. very nice story, not your typical science fiction, fantasy novel.. at siyempre, tuloy pa rin ang pagsubaybay ko sa manga ng "School Rumble". inaabangan ko every week ang new chapters.

tapos, recently lang, visual novels naman ang pinagkakaabalahan ko. nagstart kasi yun nung ma-bored ako pag-iinternet, at paglalaro ng games sa newgrounds. naalala ko tuloy na gusto ko dating gumawa ng isang visual novel, kaya nagsearch ako ng visual novel games. tapos nakita ko sa isang site ang list ng mga free visual novel games. ni-check ko ang nasa list at pumili ako ng game na most downloaded na maliit lang ang file size. sa pagbabalance ko sa criteria ko, dinownload ko ang "Red Shift". It's second to the most downloaded, tapos almost 40mb lang siya, compared sa most downloaded na 89mb. tapos,ininstall ko, at nilaro. cool, nadala ako ng story. it's a mix of fantasy, philosophy(?), slice of life type ng story. it revolves around the protagonist named, Kouya, who is currently studying at school where there are only 3 boys (that was because the school was previously an all-girls school). then he met a selfish albino girl one night in the park. now, what happens when a selfish girl and boy meet? we hear the ringing of the bells…

at dahil namove ako sa story ng "Red Shift", nagdecide ako na itry yung most downloaded free visual novel dun sa site. "Narcissu" ang title nung game. dinownload ko na rin kasi, this might be a story much better than "Red Shift" if the people downloaded this game is three times the number of RS. then when i started playing, i was first captivated by the graphics. it's cinematic style, even though it's graphics is minimal. also, the music is very good, it's very soothing, it gives the story very much depth of melancholy which enhances the impact of the story as a whole. of course, the story is very good. i don't remember myself wanting to stop reading the story. it almost made me burst into tears, heavy-hearted, yet with a glorious feeling. it's about two terminally ill persons, who are left in the hospital until their life runs out. both of them don't want to die there or even at home, that's why they made their journey to the famous island with a field of flowers of 'narcissus'.

at ngayon, matutulog na ako dahil papagalitan ako pag naabutan pa ako ng nanay at tatay ko na gising, 4:00AM na… and now i leave you with the lyrics of "Saging na Saba"…next time na lang. XD

Saging na Saba by nepOdekS

 

saging na saba

ang aming meryenda

pagpractice namin

sa santa rosa

saging na saba

mamimiss kong talaga

ang saging na

luto ni lola

saging na saba

malaki at mataba

kelan muli matitikman?

hindi ko alam…

Translation
 waw, chapter 17 .. Actually, this is a special post. special for me because of the number 17. I started typing this post April 17, 2007 at 10:10 pm, but I was so sleepy, so I just saved it as draft .. it's just that I got too distracted by the good things happening that's why now is the only time for me to edit it (June 24). : P
and because I didn't update the blog whole summer, here's what happened during the last 2 months …
eniweiz, the vacation time has ended, back to school works, namely OJT. as of now, I still don't have any company for my OJT. but it's ok, after all, at least I spent time with my loved one. However, the 2 weeks of our lives were wasted .. smallpox is the reason, so my flawless skin is scarred ..my whole body got marks, had the groove for the remnants of smallpox. I remember, I looked like a chocolate chip cookie, because I was filled with spots on the whole body and face. and consequently, I have had the time to go swimming in the pool or at least at the sea with floating feces.. huhu, Just when I'm in the mood to swim…
then finally, we defended our thesis, it's really super postponed, perhaps we had our pre-oral defense on the 20th, I'm not sure about the date. the defense was ok. If our other classmates were deep sauted, I think, we are only half-cooked. we defended without sleeping, because the defense was on sunday, and the people from OJTs arrived saturday.. then we had to revise our papers without consultation. haha, we were deprived of the privilege to be able to consult for our thesis before the defense. and that was the second time I wore our pink polo uniforms that were tailor-made just for thesis. I do not know why the call it OJT uniform when it's not used in OJT.
last june 10, we played for the debut party of our drummer in the band which we named nepOdekS. haha, for almost three Sundays and one saturday we practiced for this event!! We have thought a lot of songs to play, too bad the requirement is only 3 songs for the lineup. too bad? or maybe too good? hehe .. kuya v was absent, the bassist also which whom I haven't yet seen the face of, van (Did I spell it right?). But we're sure that we would be playing 2 original songs. We first practiced "what is it to burn?" by finch. But was rejected because it's too loud. then, "I could not ask for more" by Edwin McCain, just so, we couldn't practice it in time. We composed a song, the title is "saba banana", a response to the song "paper boat" by digital karma. but we ended up with "Alone" by Heart is .. too much time and money are spent just for this practice. then, when the event came … guess what? We sucked big time .. if you want to blame me, then go on, because my guitar started it all. because they forced me to use a Capo in the song, they wanted to raise the tone of the song by half-step. but my capo was stupid, it loosened right in the middle of the song .. We missed the whole second verse. and what's worst, I think the audience heard us as we scold the vocalist to continue without the guitar even though he was stunned by what happened .but in fairness, I completed the guitar solo without much errors. when we performed the final song, our other guitarist broke a string .. we were really unlucky. i was out of tune when i did backup vocals, hehe i couldn't hear my voice during that time, overall, none of us can show our faces to the public anymore. the emcee who was interested to book us for another event, didn't showed himself to us ever since that time, hay …
then, I have found a sub-religion, I am now a Haruhi-ist .. haha, I'm also addicted to "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu). and of course, if I am a Haruhi-ist, I should know the dance step to "Hare Hare Yukai"! I got hooked on the anime and the novels. very nice story, not your typical science fiction, fantasy novel .. and of course, I still continue to track "School Rumble" manga. I look forward to new chapters every week.
then, just recently, visual novels catch my attention. it started when I'm bored from the internet, and playing games on Newgrounds. I remembered that I previously want to make a visual novel, so I searched visual novel games. then I saw a site the list of free visual novel games. of my check on the list and I select the most downloaded game only small file size. After considerations of the criteria , I downloaded "Red Shift". It's second to the most downloaded, and then he just almost 40MB, compared to most downloaded the 89mb. then, I installed, and I played. cool, I was moved by the story. It's a mix of fantasy, philosophy (?), slice of life type of story. It revolves around the protagonist named, Kouya, who is currently studying at school Where there are only three boys (that was inasmuch previously an all-girls school). then he met a selfish albino girl one night in the park. now, what happens when a selfish girl and boy meet? We Hear the ringing of the bells …
and because I was moved of the story of "Red Shift", I decided to try the most downloaded free visual novel on the site. "Narcissu" is the title of the game. I downloaded it because,
and now I have to sleep because I'll be scolded if my mother and father catch me awake at 4:00 am … and now I leave you with the lyrics of "Saba Banana" … 'til next time. XD
Saba bananas by nepOdekS
saba banana
is our snack
When we practiced
at santa rosa
saba banana
I really miss it
the banana that is
cooked by grandma
saba banana
big and fat
when will i taste it again
i don't know…

 

Posted on

Chapter 16: Memories of Confusion

…you nearly made up your mind…..                          …..you have almost decided………….         ….on what to do…..             ….on who to choose…….          ……you have layed your eyes……..              …..to someone……..             …..you felt comfortable…….                 …..to someone…..                ….easing your burden…..              …..wiping your tears……..                  ……mending your heart……..               ……….someone who…..           …..held your weary soul…..                …..helped you rest……              …..your ever-chasing heart…….              ……..to someone………               …..who hears when you called………                  ………..picked you up when you were down…….             …………kept you when you had nowhere to go…………..

………flashbacks run through your mind……….               ……a memory lay between……..                  ……your eyes as you close them……                ………..sweet memories of yesterday……….            ………..this feeling………               …..you feel the same thing……….                ….before….                …..as you are feeling now………..                ……a feeling of comfort……….           …….an emotion……….                  ……that you can never………            …..forget…….                  …..a cherished treasure…………..              ………..that can never be forgotten……..              ……..the memory of……..

…..first love……..

………sweet…….                 ……….dreamy………              …..happy…….

….true…..

…..as sweet as it can be…..              ….it stays in your memory…..         …..even when you sleep………..           ……even as you dream…..             ……it puts a smirk on your face……                 ……you were happy…..           …..and the best part of it…….              …..it happened to you……..                  …..it was a dream came true…..                  ….there were never a dull moment………              …..everything seems a fairy tale…….              …..a happy ending………..             …….so happy, it puts you to sleep…….              …….with happy dreams…….               …high hopes…….             ……..like a child….        ……before getting tucked…..               …..at night…..

……..everything’s fine……..               ……..a fairy tale…….               ……..she is the princess………             …..you are the knight in shining armor…..             …….you fell in love…..                ……you became happy……                 …..everybody seems happy for you……             …..they celebrate for the both of you…..                      ………..they think of the most romantic love story…….               ………..and you are the protagonists…….                 ………….and everything ends at a happy ending………

……..you wish that it was true………           ….you wish that your love can save you……..                ……..you wish that she can never hurt you…….               ………….you wish that all she can say is the truth………..                ………because trust, love and time………..                    ………..is the only thing you can give her………                  …………..you wish……….

………after you’ve been together for so long………..             ……..you thought that everything……..                  …….will not change……..               ……between the two of you……..              ………..you only thought……..                  ……….you need her……….              ………….her love………..              ………..her time………                ………her trust……..                 ……..but………                  …………she needs…..                                 ……….space………

………….it seems that both of you………….                  ……….are drifting apart………..                       …………..the more you chase her………….               ……….the more she drifts away………..                 ………….you reached out your hand………                  ………but she never noticed you………                ………..you called her name……….              ……….but she never heard you……….               ………..you asked for her help………                    ……….but she was already gone……….                 ……….and by the time you catch up…..              …….your heart’s already bleeding…..             ……your soul’s already weary……….               ………….and your mind and body is already tired……..           ………wasted time……..             ……is what you’re thinking……..             ………it could have been a moment……..             ……….out of all the short time you have in this world………           …….a moment to be with her……..          …..a moment that should’ve been cherished……..            …….a moment that shouldn’t be forgotten…….             ……..a moment now gone……..             …..cannot be replaced by……..               …….any apologies…….. (to be continued…)

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wai, hectic ang sched ko for the past few weeks. lalo na last week!! kelangan ko pumunta sa skul, nag-aabang para ma-consult sa thesis. kung baga sa kongreso, naglo-lobby kami. napulitika ata ang thesis namin. tapos may mga nomo-sessions pa pag gabi, kelangang magpilit gumising ng maaga kahit may hang-over… yun nga lang, hindi pa rin ako bumabangon, hehe.. tapos, umattend pa ako ng debut last friday. akalain mo, sa tanda kong ito, makukuha pa ako na isa sa mga 18 roses!! nagbirthday kasi si teks last friday, at 21 years old na siya, ayy mali, 18 years old lang pala!! umalis ako dito ng tanghali ng friday, tapos dumating kami doon ng 5 pm. 6 pm kasi yung debut e, kaya lang nalimutan kong nasa Pilipinas nga pala ako, kaya 8 o’clock na nagsimula. okay lang naman, nagpanggap akong hindi marunong magwaltz (e di naman ako talaga marunong sumayaw, shhhh!!). medyo nagkausap din kami ni keilen after so long ng pagtatago niya.. medyo nagkausap kasi halos tulog na kami noon. medyo naging malinaw ang lahat, kahit medyo malabo pa rin. puro sorry na naman, kaya lang, baka ulit-ulitin ulit ang mga bagay-bagay.tapos, umuwi din ako kinabukasan, saturday, ng hapon. 3 pm ako sumakay ng van, 5 pm kami umalis, pakshet talaga!! mas mahaba pa ang tulog ko paghihintay ng pag-alis kaysa noong nagbibiyahe na kami!! tapos pagdating ko dito, hindi tuloy ang nomo-session. tapos binalita pa sa akin na hindi na daw tuloy ang tribute to the graduates. na-cancel daw, buti naman, para bawas sa abala. tutugtog daw kasi kami doon,hehe. buti naman, iwas kahihiyan!! siguro rest lang muna ngayong holy week, kasi baka next week, hectic na naman, thesis at ojt naman ang aasikasuhin. at hanggang ngayon, wala pa rin akong company na pag-o-ojt-han!! yung iba kong mga classmates, nakaalis na!! eniweiz, next time na lang ulit…

siya nga pala visit nyo naman ang youtube, may mga uploaded ako doong mga videos, rate nyo sana at magcomment na rin:

http://youtube.com/vekou

Translation
i have a hectic schedule these few weeks. especially last week!! i need to go to school, waiting for our consultation on our thesis. if it were the congress, we were lobbying. our thesis seemed politicized. then there are drinking sessions at night, need to get up early even if i have a hang-over… but, i still don’t get up, hehe… then i attended a debut party last friday. believe me, on my age, i never thought that i can be one of the 18 roses?! teks held her birthday party last friday, and she’s already 21, umm, i mean 18 years old. i left here at around noon and arrived there at about 5pm. the party was supposed to start at 6pm, but then i forgot that i was in the Philippines, so it started at 8pm. but it’s ok, i pretended that i don’t know how to dance waltz (but i really don’t know how to dance, shhh!!!) then keilen and i also finally nearly talked to each other after hiding for so long. nearly, since we were almost asleep by then. everything seemed clear, yet it was still unclear. apologies again, but the things might be done again. then i went home the next day afternoon. i rode the van at around 3pm, but it departed at 5pm, shit. my sleep while waiting for us to depart was longer than the one when we were already travelling. then, when i arrived, the drinking session was postponed. then i heard the news that the tribute to the graduates was cancelled. it’s good, less worries. they say that we’ll perform there, hehe. it’s good, less embarrassment. i’ll just probably rest this holy week, since i’ll be busy next week, i’ll do my ojt and thesis. and as of now, i don’t have any company to have my ojt. my other classmates have already gone.
anyway please visit youtube, i have videos there, please comment and rate:
http://www.youtube.com/vekou