Posted on

Chapter 14: Grand Line Trilogy… The Conclusion

…the moment arrives….           …time stood still….                …you are here…             …everything will end now…             …your knees are shaking….                    …you are badly sweating…                       …cold sweat runs down your face…                …you try to walk…                 …you walk…              …step by step…                  …each step you make is…             …..heavy….               ….your body is willing……..             ….but your mind is not…..               ….empty-headed….              ….as you walk towards your destination…..               …..anxious…..               …..unfocused…..         …..you are thinking……                     …..of what will happen next…..         ….you try to think…..                    ……too many things….                 ….it's like sleepwalking….                  …you walk without noticing it….

….until….

….you've finally arrived….                  …..the moment you've been waiting for………              ….the moment you try to avoid…..               ….the moment of truth…..                 ….the moment of battle……….                     ….the moment of silence…..

….you take a deep breath…..                …..your heart is beating so fast….     ….you don't know how to start it…..                ….the battle is not yet started….                 …but it seems the battle is within yourself….                  ……a battle much more fierce than a war….                ……a battle to be decided by your heart…..           ….overcome it….             …that's the only way….    …..and now…..               ….you said to yourself…..

…..it's now time……….

……you've shown yourself to the enemy…..               …..your opponent saw you……..                 ….but in awe….                 …he did not move….               …..stunned…..          ……surprised by your presence……               …..you felt his anxiety…..                 …..he can't look directly in your eyes….            ……you were trapped in your thoughts…..             ….when suddenly……

…..the person that you came for is behind him……                …..you looked deep into her eyes…..             ……she tried to hide her guilt behind those grin….            …….unexpectedly……….                  …..she was the one who confronted you…..             …..you weren't prepared for this kind of battle………               ….you aren't ready for this kind of hit…..               …….the battle starts……..

……both of you looked back at each other's eyes…..              …..staring……             …..waiting for each other's move……                      …..until the calmness halted……            ….the moment was intensified by your first move……          ….a direct attack…..                       …..a slap on the face……         ………..she was stunned………..                 …she never thought that you can do such things………             …..she never thought it would be possible……              ….you felt sorry for what you did…..         …..but you never showed it…..                 …..you hid it with your pride……..                     …..you want to make clear that you…….              ….will never be stepped on again….           ….that you are not just a sardine……               ….but a fish in your own right…..              …even if you don't have a head…..                 ….even if you have a soft backbone….              …even if you don't have the power…..           ….at least you have a heart…..              …..you are capable to feel pain……             …..you are capable of suffering…..              …..you are you…..               …..you have feelings…..              …………….your body is as soft as your heart….          ….so sensitive….          …..so fragile…..          ….easily hurt…….           ….easily offended….         …but even so….              …..even when hurt…..             …even when offended…..               ….it can be warm….             ….it can love you as much as she can…..             …..a soft heart that can understand you……         ….a warm hug that can comfort you…..

……you tried to show her what you're made of…..               ….although she saw how vulnerable you are…..          …..how you need to be protected more than her…..             …..how your body is weak…..                ….but your heart is strong……                          ……the end of battle…..              ….you've finished your quest…..              ….the moment your tears dropped…..            ….it ended everything…..                 …..it's all over….          …..it's time to go home……

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haha, nagtrippings kami sa manila… biglaan lang ang nangyari, 7pm yun ng gabi. nasa Pacific Mall ako sa Lucena City. nakita ko dun si chiqui, classmate ko noong highschool. niyaya ko siya papunta ng manila. waa, ubos ang pera ko noon. biglaan lang.

medyo maulan pa nga noon. sumakay kami ng bus. nakatayo pa kami noong una, kasi siksikan na ang biyahe. tapos ordinary pa yung bus. bad trip pa nga kasi may nagyoyosi sa likod namin. since umuulan, nakasara ang lahat ng bintana ng bus. para kaming nakasakay noon sa pugon. nakakasuka talaga.

napakaraming nangyari noong gabing yon… nagtreasure hunting kami sa manila. hatinggabi na noong mahanap namin ang treasure. pero napakarami palang side-effects sa pagkakakuha namin nito. sobrang daming masasamang pangyayari dahil dito. kung ano yung treasure, secret din… marahil yung mga malalapit lang sa akin noong panahon na yun ang makakagets ng mga sinulat ko dito. sori na lang muna sa iba. i-base nyo na lang sa sardinas ang mga sinasabi ko dito….

Translation
haha, we fooled around manila…everything was so sudden, at around 7pm. i was in Pacific Mall in Lucena City. i saw chiqui there, a classmate from highschool. i asked her to accompany me to manila. waa, i spent all my money. it's so sudden.
it was rainy that time. we rode a bus. we were standing at first, since it was jam-packed. then, it was an ordinary bus. bad trip, there was somebody smoking behind us. since it was raining, all the windows are closed. we were like riding an oven. it's really sickening.
many things have happened that night… we did a treasure hunting in manila. it was midnight when we found the treasure. but there were many side-effects on our retrieval. too many bad things happened because of this. on what the treasure was, it's a secret… probably the persons close to me at that time will be the only one to get what i'm writing. i apologize to the others. just base it on the sardines on what i'm trying to say….
Posted on

Chapter 13: Grand Line II… The Journey to Death

….fish….                  ….charging forward…..                      …..for his pride………                    …..for his face….                        ….for his dignity………….                       …………for his self………..           ……for her….

………….stupidity……..                  …it may seem……..                ….at a glance….                ….for a moment…..                ….but so what?….               ….who cares?……             …..nobody cared that’s why you……                …..are taking this quest…..               ….no one…..

…..dreams were your place…..                   …..night was your moment…..                  …..silent….                  …all alone….           ….even if you’ve got someone…..

….empty….

….void….

….null….

….nothing….

….nada….

…an empty space in your heart….                    …..clouded with rage…..               …..fueled by passion….                  ….softness…..        …..calmness…..

…..that’s what you need….                 ….flame of heart…..           ……against the coldness of night……

….as you stride down the battlefield…..                     ….as you plan every move….                    ….as you prepare for every hit……              ….as you suffer every pain….                 …..sorrow….                       ….it fills you….             ….it consumes you….              ……it kills you……               …..slowly….                ….painfully…..

…..you went to fight…..                       ….to end this sorrow….             …..but still…..               ….it gets worse…..           …..doubt…..                    ……destroys you……         …..it seems fighting…..               …..only fill you with sorrow…..              ….with sadness……..                   …..with pain…..                 ….you want to stop…….             …..but it’s too late…..              …..pride is aching…..                  …..heart is breaking……              …..now other way but…..                  ….forward…..                    …..there’s no stopping……….                …..it’s now or never……                 …..it’s do or die…….                  ……travelling with nothing…..                  ….but your heart…..                      …..you’re doomed to die……                 …..but is it true?…..                    ….confusion…..      …weakens your mind….               ………heart palpitates………                    …….your breathing………               ……..faster………..                 ……..to pass out or not………..                       …….we must continue……….                ……or live the rest of your life as……….                    …..a fool…….

…..sardines forever………..                 ……stupid forever…….

……..canned ever since…..              ……death is the only fate…..                  ……this is the moment to prove……              …..how truly a fish you are……                 …..how important you are…..                    ……that you have a purpose of being a sardine……

…..you are a sardine…..             ……your purpose is to be eaten…..                  ….not to be stepped on………

…..to give happiness…..                 …..to those who taste you…..                …..to fill their memories………..                …..of how wonderful life is………..              ……of how a sardine can complete their life……               …..of how a headless fish can suffer for the goodness of mankind…….                    ….to give smile………..             ……even for single moment……..           …..to calm the hunger…..                ……to die……

…….the end of the quest is near….                          …….you must prepare yourself………..                     …..prepare for……                    …………….death……                          …….or is it really the case?……                     …..or everything will be alright?………..

(..to be concluded..)

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nakakatanga, nakakabaliw. biglaan.. nakakagulat.

may taong nawala.. at least yun ang akala ko.

hindi nagparamdam, kinalimutan kaya ako?

nag-aalala, nahihilo, nababaliw,

napapraning, ayaw pa rin bumitiw.

naghahanap ng ayaw magpahanap,

nagtatago sa taya, naghahabol sa wala.

nalaman ng lahat, parang nakakahiya,

pero okey lang yun, nag-aalala din sila.

hinabol, nagtago, masakit,

naabutan, natagpuan, mapait.

inuwi, sinamahan, nakakapaso,

nakisama, nakisalo, atraso.

at ngayon, hinahabol pa rin,

at ngayon, nahagilap lang ay hangin.

walang nagbago.

walang nagbago.

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totoong nakakabaliw ang mga nakaraan na araw. parang sa sine lang nangyayari. akala ko ay hindi tunay, yun pala, pwede ring mangyari sa totoong buhay. drama-rama sa hapon ang nangyari. may kakilala ka, tapos sabi nya tatawagan ka niya mamayang gabi. para magkausap kayo. pero, magdamag kang naghihintay, walang nagpaparamdam. nag-aalala ka. di mo alam ang gagawin. napakarami mong nararamdaman, litung-lito ka. hindi mo alam kung:

1) mag-aalala ka. baka kung napaano na yung kakilala mo. baka na-holdup kaya hindi ka tinatawagan. baka hinarang ng kung sino mang masamang-loob sa kanto.

2) palalampasin na lang. baka naman kasi pagod lang sa maghapon. baka nagpapahinga at natutulog na. baka hindi na kaya ng katawan kaya kailangang maintindihan, bukas na lang.

3) magagalit ka. baka kinalimutan na ang mga sinabi nya. ningas kugon. sa simula lang magaling, madaling magsawa. nawala ka sa kanyang isip. karapat-dapat ka nga bang makalimutan? baka naman nagpapakasaya habang mamamatay ka na sa:

a) kunsumisyon

b) pag-aalaala

c) pagkalito kung ano nga ba ang dapat maramdaman

too bad for me, kasi ang sagot sa akin ay letter c. parang ang selfish ko naman base sa point of view ko. parang ang lumalabas, ako ang inaapi. pero ganun talaga ang maiisip mo kung wala kang alam sa mga nangyayari. alam ng mga tao sa paligid mo ang mga bagay-bagay, samantalang ikaw na dapat ang may-alam sa lahat ay nananatiling mangmang. pinagtataguan ng lihim. naiintindihan ko kung bakit, at okey lang yun. alam ko naman para hindi ako masaktan. pero mas masakit, oras na malaman mo. lalo pa’t nanggaling sa ibang tao. masarap magpakalasing. masarap magpakasabog. masarap malimutan ang problema. masarap din ang lumuha. masarap ding mamatay. pero lahat yun ay dapat munang isa-isang-tabi. kailangan kong malaman kung ano. kailangan kong malaman kung paano. at lalong kailangan kong malaman kung bakit. mahirap at masakit. kailangan kong habulin at hanapin ang dahilan. kailangan kong malaman. kailangan kong sundan, kailangan kong maintindihan. ayoko ng pinagtataguan. ayoko ng kasinungalingan, katotohanan lamang.

hinabol ko. kahit pagud na pagod na ang aking katawan, lalo na ang aking isipan, pinilit ko pa rin. ayaw ko ng ganun ang nararamdaman. mahirap, nakakabaliw. gusto kong matapos na ang lahat ng hirap na nadarama ko…

…ngunit habang palapit nang palapit sa paroroonan, lalo akong nanghihina. pinanghihinaan ng loob, baka ma-reject lang dun. ditch. pero kailangang maging matatag. kailangan talaga. kung hindi ngayon, baka wala nang pagkakataon. wala nang pagkakataong ipakita na hindi ka tanga. hindi ako mahilig sa away, pero kung kinakailangan, gagayahin ko ang mga napapanood ko sa pelikula, pataasan ng testosterone level, mapatunayan lang ang pagkalalaki nila. pa-macho-han, pagalingan, palakasan.

matagal ang byahe, mahaba, nakakainip, nakaka-excite, nakakapraning. maraming papasok sa ulo mo. marami kang maiisip na hindi dapat isipin. marami kang ma-iimagine. masakit lahat ng naiisip mo, siguro para maging handa ka sa mga napipintong mangyayari. dagdagan mo pa ng kanta mula sa bus, mga break-up songs. mga songs from the broken heart..

malapit na. ilang kilometro na lang. konti na lang at bibigkasin mo na ang script na ginawa mo sa utak mo habang pinapanood ang mga ilaw na kumikinang sa basang kalsada sa labas ng bintana. kumukutitap sila, nakakahalina. tila nagbabadya ng masamang pangyayari, o baka naman napapraning lang ako. mausok, so what, parang gusto mong pasakitan ang iyong katawan dahil sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ng puso mo. masokista? siguro, pero masayang sabayan ng sakit ng katawan ang sakit na nararamdaman. pakiramdam mo, buhay ka. pero, gusto mo nang mamatay. siguro masarap yun dahil matatakasan mo ang lahat ng problema mo. automatic na mawawala. masaya.

pero, teka, kailangan nang bumaba. oras nang simulan ang mga nakatakdang mangyari. oras nang magkaharap at tapusin ang lahat ng pasakit sa ‘yo……

Translation
stupefying, crazy, suddenly…surprising
a person disappeared.. at least that’s what i thought
not notifying, forgotten about me?
worried, drowsy, crazy,
lunatic, don’t want to let go.
searching for those who doesn’t want to be found,
hiding from the it, chasing for nothing.
everyone knows, it’s embarassing
but it’s ok, they’re also worried
chased, hidden, painful
found, located, bitter
taken home, accompanied, burning
joined, joined, trouble.
and now, still chasing
and now, grasped thin air
nothing changed.
nothing changed.
the previous days have been crazy. it’s like the movies. i thought it wasn’t real, but it really could happen in real life. like a soap drama. you know a person, saying she’ll call you in the evening. so you can talk. then you waited the whole night, nothing. you worry. you don’t know what to do. a lot of mixed emotions, you’re confused. you don’t know if:

  1. you’re worried. maybe something bad happened. probably a victim of holdup that’s why you weren’t phoned. or probably by some hoodlums.
  2. just let it pass. probably tired the whole day. probably resting and sleeping. the body is too heavy, so you need to understand. tomorrow.
  3. be angry. forgotten about the conversation. only good at the start, but easy to get sick of it. are you really easy to forget? or probably enjoying while you’re dying of:
    1. problem
    2. worried
    3. confusion on what to feel
too bad for me, since my answer is letter c. i’ll look like a selfish person based on my point of view. it’ll look like that i’m the victim. but that’s how it’ll be when you don’t know what’s happening. people around you knows everything, while you, the one who should know remains ignorant. hiding secret from you. i understand why, and it’s ok. i know so that it wouldn’t hurt me. but it’s much painful when you know. especially when it came from other people. it feels good to be drunk. also to be high. it feels good to forget your problems. it feels good to cry. it’s also good to die. but all of them needs to be put aside first. i need to know first. i need to know how. and i need to know why. difficult and painful. i need to chase and search for the reason. i need to know. i need to follow. i need to understand. i don’t want to be hidden from. i don’t want lies, only the truth.
i chased. even if my body is too tired, especially my mind, i tried hard. i don’t like that feeling. it’s difficult, it’s crazy. i want to end all the sufferings that i am feeling….
….but as i get nearer and nearer to the destination, i get weaker and weaker. i’m losing the will, i’d probably be rejected. ditch. but i need to be strong. really. if not now, then there couldn’t be any other time. there’s probably no other time to show that you’re not an idiot. i don’t like fights, but if the time needs it, i’ll imitate the things that i see in the movies, increasing testosterone levels, just to prove manliness. contend for machismo, skills and strength.
the travel was long, far, boring, exciting, sickening. many things will cross your mind. you’ll think of things that you must never think. you’ll imagine many things. everything you think of is painful, probably to prepare you of the upcoming events. just add the break-up songs that you’ll hear from the bus. songs from the broken hearts…
it’s getting close. a few kilometers left. a little more and you will now say the script that you prepared in your mind while watching the lights that reflect from the wet pavement outside the windows. they sparkle, soothing. like an omen of the bad things to come, or maybe i’m just out of my mind. smog, so what, you feel like you want to hurt your body more because of the pain in your heart. masochist? probably, but it feels good to add pain in your body while having pain in your heart. you feel that you’re alive. but you want to die. i think that it’s good, that you can escape all you problems in this life. disappear automatically. it’s fun.
but wait, i have to get down. it’s time to start what’s destined to happen. it’s time to face and end all of your sufferings…
Posted on

Chapter 12: The Grand Line Quest

suru suru suru suru…

suru suru suru suru…

…sardine….

…the embodiment of …..           ….man…..                 ….trapped in dreams…..                …..trapped in nightmares……..                ….yet, passive….                     …..unwilling to move…..                       ….unwilling to fight………                     ….nothing to prove………..                    …..for he is a man…….                    …..a man without pride…..                      …..he is nothing……                     …..speck of dust………                     …..needle in a haystack……                   …..drop of water in the ocean……              …unnoticed….                 ….unrecognized…..

…..deathwish is unclear….                        …although it is near….              …..mind is hazy…..              ….clouded with fear….                     ………respect……….                          …..unheard of……               ……..faith………..                     ….unseen of…..              …….peace of mind………                     ……never felt it……

….maybe it is now the….                    ….time….                   …to earn a little…………            …respect…..              …..to get something done……                 …..to do things………                 ….because you are a……….           ……man…..               …..you must never be looked down again….                 ….at least once in a while….          ….show yourself some pride…..                 ….it’s the only thing……..                       ….you’ve got now…..                  ….it’s the only thing………..                …you don’t know……

…..and now…..                        …it is the time….                     …to get out of the can……                    ….out of the tomato sauce……                  …..out of the cylindrical prison wall you’re in……                 …..the nightmare of your existence…….               …..the red sea of your sadness……              ….because today…..                       …..you are not a sardine…..                        ….you are a……………………………..

…FISH !!

…. a hungry warrior of the sea…..                      ….a legendary hero of love…..                    ….a steady fortress never moving….     …..a valiant man with a lonely heart…..

…..the heat of the moment can drive you wild…..                  ……the frost of emotions can ignite your passion…..             …..for the beating of your heart is sharper than the edge of your sword….                          ….you will not fail……           …..you are powerful……                 …..you are your world……                       ….you are your word…..

….set ablaze your hopes……                     ….get your face up…..          ….run towards where you want to…..              …..and finish what has begun….

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impulse.

andaming nangyari. pero ayaw ko munang ikwento. adventure na ‘to. baka sa next post na lang…

Translation
impulse.
many things have happened. but i don’t want to tell it yet. it’s an adventure! maybe on the next post….
Posted on

Chapter 11: Geminisces

…what could happen?…                    …a friend of yours……..               ……………..is in………………….

……..danger?

…..wierd….                     ……..you cannot do………..                  ……..anything about it……….        ……..you’re………..                        …….too far away………                          …….all you can do is………..

…..PRAY……..

……..your partner for life……….                      ………the soulmate of your soul……….                            ……..amidst everything……….                           ………you’ve been through it all……….

……….worrying can’t do you……….                            ………….anything………..

….nothing……..

…..please…….                                 ……….wait………..            ………………wait………………                           ………………..wait…………….

……….wait until………                       …………….things become better………..

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wai, katatapos lang ng 2006. dami na namang naputukan. hirap pa ring mag-online gawa nung taiwan earthquake, nasira yung mga cables underwater. although, nakaka-guilty naman kung ang iisipin ko lang ay yung tungkol sa mga cable lines, siyempre kawawa din naman yung mga tinamaan ng lindol. marami ring namatay. but i have to admit, quality ang mga buildings nila sa taipei, mga breakthroughs sa engineering, konti lang ang nadamage. sana ganun din sa Pilipinas, walang dayaan pagdating sa mga construction. medyo traditional pa kasi ang point of view natin pagdating sa mga ganyan. dun pa rin tayo sa bakal + semento = building. kung mapapansin natin ang pagkakagawa ng mga building sa ibang mga bansa, may mga bearing balls pang malalaki para lang mabalance ang buong building pag lumindol. pag dito pinakita ng isang engineer yun sa Pilipinas, pagtatawanan lang siya kasi kalokohan lang yun. iisipin nila nerd ka lang na nagfi-feeling matalino. feeling nila raket mo lang yun para magkapera. also, kailangan nating i-admit, super dominant ang crab mentality dito sa Pilipinas, pag nakita nilang kakaiba at maganda ang gawa mo, mas lalo ka nilang lalaitin. kakaiba di ba? rather than praising you or even acknowledge you, they will only mock you, making you think that you’re above an average person, and you don’t belong with them worms. it’s a matter of acceptance and sense of belonging. even i experienced things like that, dati nung nasa uplb pa ako, pag tinatanong ako ng mga tao kung saan ako nag-aaral, ang sinasabi ko sa laguna. tapos, pag tinanong pa nila kung saan sa laguna, ang sasabihin ko, dun lang sa tabi-tabi. kasi pag nalaman ng mga tao na dun ka nag-aaral, iba na ang tingin nila sa ‘yo. sasabihin nila, “..taga uplb ka, e di matalino ka?…” weird, kung ang haba ng iyong penis ay nasusukat ng iyong talino, ibig sabihin, napakalaki ng kanilang penis envy. mga insecured. hindi ko nga alam kung mataas ba talaga ang expectations nila sa ‘yo o talagang hinahanapan ka lang nila ng butas para pintasan. naaalala ko nga, nakita lang ako ng kakilala ko sa mall na namamasyal ng nakatsinelas, ang sabi sa akin ay, “..taga-up ka nga…” parang tanga di ba? isa pa, hindi talaga nila alam ang ibig sabihin ng aktibista. tumatango na lang ako pag pinag-uusapan nila. akala nila basta taga-up ka, akitibista ka. mga ulol. karamihan ng mga taga-up ngayon, mga wala ng pakialam sa nangyayari sa paligid nila. sabi nga sa science, nag-aadapt ang mga species sa environment nila, ganun din sa mga estudyante. mas tahimik (hindi payapa) kasi ngayon ang paligid kaysa dati (corrupt pa rin ang gobyerno pero mas tago ngayon kaysa noon). tapos sabi nila lahat daw ng aktibista ay npa. sira-ulo, pinagyayabang pa, mali naman. i have to admit, i’m an activist in my own right, pero hindi pa naman ako komunista. hindi man ako sumali ulit sa rally, at least i do make sure na nagiging involved ang mga nasa paligid ko. at least i don’t just make them aware of what’s happening, i make sure that they have their own stand from the issue. it’s better than mag-inom ako maghapon magdamag na walang ibang iniisip kundi kung saan susuka. saka ko na ipagpapatuloy ito, nawawala na ako sa topic ng title ko…

eniweiz, siguro wala sa dictionary ang salitang Geminisces? isipin nyo na lang kung ano ibig sabihin nun, basta ako alam ko. gusto ninyong malaman?…..

kaninang hapon, nakatanggap ako ng text mula kay Vecky, sabi nya naospital daw yung ate nya. nasa ospital daw ng UST. buti na lang naka-unli ako, at mas buti na lang at globe din siya, kung hindi, e di hindi ako makakareply… sabi nya, sumakit daw ang ulo, nahihilo kaya sinamahan nya sa ospital. siyempre windangers ang bb, pero sabi nya wag ko raw tawagan kasi bawal daw ang cellphone dun. sabi kasi nya nung nagtext siya, nasa e.r. daw sila. so, sabi ko na lang itext ako pagkatapos nun. gabi na nga nung ang nagreply ay si dk. sabi nya chineck-up na lang daw siya nung doktor dun, sabi nung doctor, may imbalance daw sa ear nya, kaya lang alang ent dun ngayon kasi holiday, new year ngayon. nung nalaman ko yun , hindi na nga ako nagtaka kung pano siya nagkaroon ng ganoon, siguro kasi, isang tenga lang ang headphone nila sa callcenter, tapos baka malakas pa yung volume nung earphone. sayang nga, kasi hindi pa sya nakapagpacheck-up para sa uti nya saka ulcer. sabi nya mahal daw. oo nga, mahal dun, private kasi yung hospital na yun e. tingnan mo nga naman ang mga sakit na makukuha mo sa call center. hindi ko alam kung sapat na ba ang pinapasweldo ng mga call centers para sa mga empleyado nila. kulang pa yon pampagamot sa mga sakit na nakukuha nila e. sobrang pagod + sobrang puyat + pigil ang wiwi + pigil ang jebs + bawal kumain + bawal uminom + irregular schedules = r.i.p. grabe, gumagaling na ako sa math. i’m not against call centers, heck i even want to experience working there, kaya lang kakainin nila ang oras ko. ayoko naman ng pasok-tulog lang ang buhay ko. parang wala ka nang self-identity. yun ay kung malayo lang naman ang titirhan ko, kung malapit lang e di enjoy. kaya lang nag-ffluctuate ang schedule, medyo mahirap mag-adapt. naalala ko tuloy yung movie na, “the devil wears prada.” it is a common setting for most of our call centers here in the philippines. maybe that’s why the movie was so successful here, but not so successful. kulang kasi sa advertisement yung movie, hindi mo madalas makita yung trailer sa mga local tv stations. that movie was the youth’s favorite movie next to “the vinci code.” people these days are more open to ideas, but i’m not sure if most of them can really stand up with those ideas. maybe they are only victims of pop culture.

ei, me luvs, pagaling ka ha, hintayin kita..mwah…

Translation
wai, 2006 has just ended. Many were victims of firecracker explosions. it’s still hard to go online due to the taiwan earthquake, cables underwater were damaged. although i’ll feel guilty if i would only think about the cables that were damaged, i also feel sorry for the victims of the earthquake. many have died. but i have to admit, they have quality buildings in taipei, breakthroughs in engineering, only a few were damaged. i hope that the Philippines will be like that, no corruption on constructions. we still have a traditional point of view when come to things like this. we still stick on steel + cement = building. if we would notice the buildings from other countries, they have huge bearing balls so the building will stay balanced during earthquakes. if you show that concept here in the Philippines, you’ll just be a laughing stock because they’ll treat it as a joke. they’ll think that you’re just acting all genius and stuff. they’ll think that it’s only a heist for you to gain money. we also have to admit, crab-mentality is very dominant here in the country, when they see that your work is unique and great, they’ll ridicule you more. isn’t that right? rather than praising you or acknowledge you, they will only mock you, making you think that you’re above an average person, and you don’t belong with them worms. it’s a matter of acceptance and self belonging. even i experience things like that, i remember when i was in uplb, when people ask me where i go to college, i told them, in laguna. then, when they ask me where in laguna, i’d answer, just somewhere there. it’s because when they learn that you study there, their view on you changes. they’d say, “…you’re from uplb, so you must be intelligent?…” weird, if the length of the penis can be measured through your intelligence, that would mean, they’d have a huge penis envy. insecured. i don’t know if they really have high expectations on you or they’re just looking for your imperfections. i remember, an acquaintance saw me in a mall wearing slippers, he said to me, “you’re really from up…” idiot. another thing, they really don’t know what an activist is. i just nod when they talk about it. they think that when you’re in up, then you’re an activist. idiots. many up students today won’t even care less about their surroundings. as science says, species adapt on their environment, same with the students. the days are much more tranquil (not peaceful) than before (the government is still corrupt but a little more discrete). they also say that all activists are npas. idiots, and they’re proud of it, but they’re wrong. but i have to admit, i’m an activist in my own right, but i’m not a communist. even if i don’t join another rally, at least i do make sure that i get involved on my surroundings. at least i don’t just make them aware of what’s happening, i make sure that they have their own stand from the issue. it’s better than drinking booze whole day and only worry on where to puke. i’ll continue this next time, i’m way off topic..
anyway, i think that the word Geminisces isn’t in the english dictionary? you just have to think what that means, but i do know what it is. do you want to know?….
this afternoon, i received an sms from vecky, she said that her sister is in the hospital.  in the UST hospital. it’s good that i was on unlimited text, and it’s also good that she’s a Globe subscriber, if not, then i couldn’t have replied…. she said, headache, drowsy that’s why they rushed her to the hospital. of course bb was panicking, but she said not to call since using cellphone was prohibited there. she mentioned when she texted, that they were in the e.r. so i replied to text me after that. it’s already evening when dk texted me. she said she was just checked-up by the doctor, and said that she has an ear imbalance, but there was no ent there since it was a holiday, new year. when i learned about that, i wasn’t surprised, they probably have one ear on the headphone in the callcenter, then the volume might be loud. she could’ve used the opportunity for a check up for her uti and ulcer. but she said it was expensive. yes, it was expensive since it was a private hospital. just look that what health problems you could get from call centers. i’m not sure if the salaries of the employees of call centers are sufficient for this. it’s not sufficient for the health problems that they’d get from their work. tiredness + lack of sleep + holding in urination + holding in feces + no eating + no drinking + irregular schedules = r.i.p. hehe, i’m getting good at math. i’m not against call centers, heck i even want to experience working there, but they’ll only devour my time. i just don’t want my life to only be work-home. it’s like losing my self-identity. but that is if my house is quite far, but if it’s within walking distance, enjoy! but the schedule’s fluctuating, so it’s quite hard to adapt. i remember the movie, “the devil wears prada.” it is a common setting for most of our call centers here in the philippines. maybe that’s why the movie was so successful here, but not so successful. the advertising wasn’t so great, you won’t see the trailers on local tv. that movie was the youth’s favorite movie next to “the vinci code.” people these days are more open to ideas, but i’m not sure if most of them can really stand up with those ideas. maybe they are only victims of pop culture.
ei, me luvs, get well soon, i’ll be waiting for you… mwah…